enclosed

1030_Enclosed

They will not use it, at least not at the moment. I had written before that there is no reason for disdain. Yet as they have never let up from their wrongdoing, I find it still flares up. Even to Sevgilim which must stop, for she is not deserving for distain. I know that this

example

1029_Example

I am currently angry with mankind, for the pollution, consumption, carelessness, short sidedness. Yet look at me. Immanuel was one who surrendered himself with the living a life which showed that by being the example of love, you will be blessed for your sufferance by that which is beyond you but is also a being

My

1028_My

Might this have been my turn in the 2 of the 6. Might this be my lesson. My two years of the 2 of the 6. I think I remember passing. Sevgilim and I talked and agreed that living outside the country for 3 months out of the year is what we would like to

giants

1027_Giants

Done. All caught up. Work-wise and home-wise. Two more days until Sevgilim arrives. It seems she has been gone for years.Since Greece I feel the pollution, from the combustion cars streaming by. We breath the foul air. The world is polluted. The air. The water. The mind. I If the mind can understand itself to

wants

1026_Wants

Had some tea and listened to Bob Marley, “Don’t worry be happy” Not going to China this time around it seems. Because I spent a couple of months in Turkey, it will be a month before I can receive a Chinese visa. That is 2 weeks after we were to depart. 😛 Sevgilim is finally

needs

1025_Needs

I drove up to LA today and got a hotel room in Korea Town. Tomorrow I go to the Chinese Consulate to submit my application for a visa. Then I will need to decide to stay in LA or drive back to SD only to drive back to LA to drive back to SD. Finished

talks

1024_Talks

Another day, tick tock. Sevgilim is still away. When we talk, all I say is “why am I here, there is no reason for me to be here” I tell her to come home while she talks about her frustration. Still another day has come and gone. But this only matters because of the standard

had

1023_Had

I don’t want to get into writing like follows: I partook of the last bit of tea I had. I worked late yesterday so today I tasked some tickets and kicked off a big job that we will review on Monday. So today, I went for a ride, while still checking emails. There was much

temptation

1022_Temptation

I started early but it was also late. I am beginning to be in a state of worry. Now we see about all this talk of worthiness and willfulness. It is not even about being among temptation and abstaining, it is about there being no temptation. Is there truly a struggle going on here? Now

2226

1021_2226

Here begins the first two of another cycle. Here begins the first lesson. Here begins the vision of 2226 as described previously in the diary. 2 cycles have been completed and starting on the third. Lessons for Sevgilim and myself and our passing of them. Starting tomorrow, I detox. Today I rode to Pacific Beach