It came to pass that he wanted to lose himself in God. So, he prayed to the Lord for it and he told his brothers of this great love. His brothers did not understand, they had wanted to continue some form of an individualism from God and to know the personal side of him. So, he went down to the gulf and prayed every day that God would hear his prayer. He asked God to take away all identity and release him from this life so that his spirit force may be absorbed into eternity and recreate him as God saw fit. Thou cannot serve two masters. So, after a short time, a great sickness came unto him and he was afraid. He had done and tried so hard to keep his body fit and the best temple he could. He, this time prayed to God and asked him to take away this pain and affliction so that once again he would be well and in good health. He continued to pray that God would heal him. But when he became better his prayer would turn once again that God take away all identity and release him from this life so that his spirit force may be absorbed into eternity and recreate him as God saw fit. After this prayer the illness once again became manifest but in a much worse state. So daily he went back down to the sea and he asked himself; how am I supposed to be so loving if I wish to go back to God and I cling to my life in this material world? He again questioned himself. Why have I prayed to God to take me from this life and now that I am in the process of losing it, I ask to be healed? He was no longer questioning his faith but he was questioning his existence. Did he want to be free from this existence or did he want to live? The illness did not leave him because neither did his dichotomy. So, to remove the duality the experience of death was needed. Before it was provided, his last thoughts were spoken… “God if this existence is required then take it from me but if you allow me to live then my life will be yours and I will be, above all, a devoted servant to you.” Was it the way out to God or was it a life of servitude?

After 3 days he awoke.

The days passed and there were no more signs of illness. The medicine men ran their tests and nothing was found wrong. It was his answer and direction from God.