In my pursuit I must still conceive one thing; the conviction that to find you Father the spirit may mean this:
There maybe a sense of defection and defeat that afflicts a man someone who is not facing his their own inner truth and is not giving back to life, to God mankind, to his their God a fair share return for all that has been given to him them.
It is possible that the full maturity of the spiritual life cannot be reached unless we first pass through the dread, anguish trouble and fear that necessarily accompany the inner crisis of spiritual death in which we finally abandon our attachment to our exterior self and surrender to christ.
But when this suffering and surrender has been made, there is no longer any place for fear and dread.
There can be, no longer, any doubt or hesitation in the mind of the one who is completely and finally resolved to seek nothing and do nothing but what is will for him them by the Father spirit love.
Then it is said that perfect love casts out dread and dread itself is turned into love, confidence and hope.
Therefore, O spiritual soul, when you see your desire obscured your affections arid and constrained and your faculties bereft of their capacity for any interior exercise, be not afflicted by this, but rather consider it a great happiness, since God the spirit is freeing you from yourself and taking the work from your hands.