As Ahab so precisely put it, “What have I to do with pleasure?” From this point on I will hold true to my convictions and continue to give up material things. I will stop wallowing in self-pity and stop these backward stepping actions. On this trip to Seattle my withstanding temptation was severely lacking in abstinence from alcohol but never the less. I of course thought of moving again but by the fourth day I realized that no matter where I am that the people and situations will remain the same. Now there will be no more though of moving at least until my debt is paid off.
A small personal battle was actually won this week against Microsoft and its toady, Spacelabs Medical. They had joined forced to make us lose money already invested and do exactly what they wished to do and continue to play off the ignorance of the end users. So now at this point they are working with us instead of against us. At Microsoft’s presentation I pointed out facts that made their whole boastful bragging attitude a heap of useless data. In the end no one cared and they still just wanted to waste money and go in the direction that Bill wishes and in my useless opinion, is for control of the world. Is my battle in vain? I do not think so but I do believe it will end with him having his way. The only alternative is to educate other users and make them see that they have a mind to use for themselves. They need to use that mind to save time, money and frustration. This will be my main focus when I return to work.
On this trip I also decided that there should be no woman or children in my life for it is a form of pleasure to my material being and not one of a spiritual. So, I must stop thinking of all the things I could be missing out on with it for they will all be my children and I can get started with that now.
I was sitting across from a couple tonight at diner who had heart and health problems. They were popping pills as they engorged themselves with rare steak. There is so much wrong with that picture but for some reason we choose not to see it. We give up nothing in this life because we love to give ourselves pleasure but what we should be doing is the best we can and give pleasure to God. This entails us taking better care of ourselves, our environment, the creatures and possessions God gave and loving one another as Christ taught.
I still have a long way to go but with the help of Christ I pray that one day I will reach for what I am striving. Father I pray to you in the name of your son Jesus Christ and what he did for us when he was sent down to this earth to be mocked, beaten until his flesh was torn to his bones, nailed to the cross and have a spear thrust into his side so that we may know your love for us and know that we shall be forgiven for our sins by believing in him. I pray that you continue to show me the wonders of what I daily thank you for. Showing me the way, my path should be going and helping me stay clear from temptation. I know that if I asked, you would do more but Lord it is I that am here and I know what is right and wrong and you made me strong enough and wise enough to resist it myself. For even though Satan may tempt me I pray that I am with you, the Holy Ghost, so I may overcome and become closer to you. Lead me as you will Lord for my life is not my own, it belongs to you, as with everything else I so un-wantingly possess. Forgive me of my shortcomings and help me to love and forgive those around me. Amen