Today seems like the first day of fall. The sky is cloudy, with no blue, just shades of gray. When awaking in the morning, the air is chilly with low humidity and it does not get hot at all in the afternoon. Bachuas is barking at something in the back of the house. He finally has a fenced in yard to run around in but prefers to stay inside. This is a different house than from the cabin that I had been living in and the one on Eleventh Street in Hattiesburg. I never thought that I would miss the house on Eleventh Street, it was so dirty and grimy with rats and roaches, but sitting here now listening to Billie Holiday, it seems that I do.
Not much has happened. I have gotten a job at Memorial Hospital in Gulfport as a System Analyst and moved into this house with Peter. My worse fear is that he and I will destroy our friendship because of living together. If that happens then I will once again be alone but for now, I do miss the time to myself watching Bachuas play; just sitting in the house… quiet, serene, alone. Is it bad to want to be alone or is it just bad to ask? I feel good today; I feel like being alone, I think that I am even over Harem2. I really never loved her; I don’t think. I never knew her well enough; it was just the sex. I must take all that back, I do love Harem2 and I suppose that I always will. She became a big part of my life in those few months and not many people have been a big part of my life. All that can be done is to wish her well and hope to see her again one day because right now I cannot see her face. How easy we can become infatuated by the thought of loving someone.