Since Sevgilim has been gone, my life has returned to that of the lifestyle that begins animation with the sun and stops with its setting.
I am eating little to nothing and my visions have returned giving me direction. My question of returning to Spacelabs has been answered with a “NO”. As for my question of my future, i saw that i was to be with a wife who was who she was and i was what i am to become.
There was a young girl of fourteen or On bes and she was unsure of direction and life. We told her not but let her decide, knowing that she had our support and presence with whatever decision. I have also been seeing much of my sister Mary in my visions. It may mean she is to be my primary focus upon my return to the states. As my visions have been honest to me in the past, i have little to doubt they shall be dishonest to me in this present future. We shall see how all shall be when Sevgilim returns in the next few days.
As i have decided no more English, thinking too much is not my problem, talking too much is. In truth, i don’t think we will ever be the same without each other. I need to be as close to nature as possible for cities drain me of my peaceful energy and leave me feeling depleted of the virtue given to me by my Father, for it is taken and used on wasteless nothing.