Yesterday, while wandering the streets of Athens, I was approached by a man who wanted to take me to a whore. I told him that I had no desire for that sort of thing. Then I thought that I surely was not going to pay for sex if I did want it. I saw people selling drugs in the street in plain view and all though I would like some tea, I will not go out in search of it. If I am to have it then it shall present itself as it has been doing while on my journey.
There has still been no sun to speak of so my walks out are few and short. They occur after I eat so as to help my digestion. My appetite seems to be curbed and I am not sure why, either way, I will not complain. I also seem to slowly be getting out of the habit of begin aggravated or agitated if i have or need to get out of bed in the night or if something wakes me up from sleep. For that I am also thankful.
As i slept last night, bombs exploded in Athens, drugs were sold, women sold their bodies, and homeless people slept on the street.
My thoughts also turn to contemplation on that of licentiousness and the disciple not being controlled by such drives. My thinking is this, am i controlled by that of carnal desire? It controlled me not with Harem2, nor Metap, nor Nicole, nor Deanica, nor Monica, nor Angela, nor any other women I have come across in my travels, it did not control me with Sevgilim. There was just two perfect days that everything was as it needed to be in order that we should come together. Was I controlled by such desires? No, it was not even in my mind to pursue such things. My emotions are being brought under control as my father gives me strength in the spirit. The next question is this, what did I learn from my time with Sevgilim?
I must remember that my encounter was not just with Sevgilim but also her friends. It may have taken nothing less that the power of her to make me travel to Ankara so that I may experience their lives and that of mine for a while longer. It also gave me time to receive insight from my father on the direction my journey should take, and finding a woman who loves me even though i have no job, and very little money. She cooks, knows how to knit, and does not want to bare children but to adopt. So, I gave her the ring i have been caring around the world and shall wait to see what my Father’s will shall bring of such a meeting. In my dreams at night, i still have arguments with my mother and my Grandfather tells me to let it be.
I will be feed again by the Greeks today. Today we have lentil soup and will be joined by another fellow who is from either Australia or the American continent. He has spent the past nine months living in the mountains learning to paint frescos, with the hope of being employed by churches for his new talent.