This day I feel so far away from my goal of spiritual evolution and there is reason because my sight still looks backwards. I think of Bachuas, Spacelabs, family, vehicles and comforts like the touch of a woman. Patience, I must take all things with patience. Kafka believes we were cast out of and remain out of paradise because of impatience. In my readings of him, it seems like he holds closely to the orthodox Christian principles. In truth, I should not speak or mention of the things I feel/know are untruths because it gives power to their position.

The same with my start to take a pilgrimage to the holy cities, but now I am no longer drawn to them with the zeal that I once felt. So, my plan shall remain to have no plans except to depart the ship in England.

I am once again reverting to a nocturnal state of being. I am tired during the day but after the sun goes down my energy level increases. Good or bad I tend to think better at night, or rather think more clearly.

I wrote earlier today that I felt far away from my goal, but every day I gain more truth of direction but as it has been said, there is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path. By the end of my ship voyage, I hope to be walking or to say rather, I will be walking the path of that which I know needs to be walked. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

Starting points in life and history should never be founded on or by the calendar of specific days and months but should be based on celestial events.

I punish and flog myself severely for my gluttony but even though I hope I did not have to in life, at least it teaches me with disgust in my over consumption and gives me truthful answers with the reactions to my body and mind, leading to results followed by actions.