Self: selfishness – mankind is naturally selfish. Driven from the programmed instinctual necessity to contain one’s genetic code. To do this it was necessary to consider self before others and it is only recent that we have, to a degree, moved out from the confines of the basic need for survival as a species. But so long as people perpetuate themselves based upon the premise of “I want”, as one wants a puppy, kitten, car, television, now phone. This problem shall remain. It is only when we reach that, that the species is perpetuated because of the lack of desire to procreate that this selfishness shall be overcome.
It has been a month since my ride to the ocean and my submergence. My time is geared now more toward long walks as the light of the day continues to decrease, until the resurrection of the sun.
It is interesting how this time use to bear so much weight upon my psyche, how these/all celestial events use to bear so much weight upon me. Now days it is not that they earn any less it is just that the intense drive and push to confirm to a meaning is no longer present. In the words of El Guapo, “You cannot force open the petals of a flower to make it bloom.”
For i find myself no longer questioning the great void but simply remember the answer that has been given and keeping/putting those to the front of the mind and working to align action to them. And yet i am letting go of the adherence to a belief in scripture more… for the steps of being involved are slowly in that direction being directed. Not thru by desire but, for example, the HOA of the place we reside asked if i would like to be on the board. My reply, “I would not use the world like. But if i could be of help and you ask it of me, i will not say no.” So now i am on the board and thinking of ways that the community might move to do better environmentally, consideration and aesthetics (appearance) with cutting costs in mind, as well as incentives rather than punishment for doing what is right, but we shall see. For i still vividly remember the vision of the community i was part in creating, only to be punished for wanting to know and taking chances for greater awareness and understanding where the result was paradise but for the community was banishment.