It is the night of the full moon. Almost 72 days since my return to the place of my birth and the place of a people like myself.
Sevgilim has gone to her land of birth for a short time. After she left, i went to see my grandparents for the first time in many months. It was a nice visit and yet it tired me from the conversation that carried on, as i strived to find a way to move it toward one of a spiritual manner. After the afternoon of the following day, Hansel and i began discussing and instead of him backing government and organizations for the sake of his programming, we found common ground. Now that this has been reached, we can move forward toward the resolution and what can and needs to be done. However, before our conversation began, it ended as it is already known what the resolution is. And as i gave it aloud, he agreed that it is not something that shall come from the government or another worldly organization but from the spiritual empowerment of the individual. To do what must need be done in their own life and to act more toward absolute faith and not mere blind acceptance. To live a life with knowledge, understanding and conviction of the spirit, a CHRISTLY life, and of Krishna consciousness, or a life that is GODly and filled with Allah. But to also be aware of Yaldabaoth, that which presents itself as GOD/ALLAH/KRISHNA and misleads one away from the spirit to deceive one to act in the world, thinking it is GODly when it is only godly. So, on the second day of my visit, as they retired to bed, i gathered my things to return to where i stay. Me wanting to stay another day and they wanting me to stay another day but the house i occupy has plants that need taking care of. So, with hesitation, i drove away. On my drive i remembered that if i am doing that which i am to be doing, the spirit takes care of all things. And so it is that when i returned to the house, a good rain had fell… and yet i know this but left anyway, only to affirm what i knew. So, i find myself continually renewed in the spirit. And a greater change in the world begins…
Today i have begun my fasting and penance, which will last for the remaining time until Sevgilim’s return. Purification for the body, mind, and soul through spiritual devotion, which will give clarity of thought and action. Any time anyone takes it upon themselves to purify themselves and draw closer to the spirit, they receive help from above.