First things first which in reality should be second. Two days ago, I sent Harem4 a letter letting her know that this relationship is over, at least on an intimate level. She is looking for more that I am able to or rather willing to give. She was too young, had been too well provided for, and too family oriented. All things that I am not or at this time care to be. I will make no more pledges that she will be the last but I must try to abstain. I would be damned if it were not for Christ. He is still the pilot through this life of mine and I am proud to follow where he leads. The power of a woman is great but I pray he gives me strength to resist. For I no longer believe in birth control. If I am to have sex, I will be responsible for my actions and not do it for desire of pleasure without consequences or rather by trying to circumvent them.
Next weekend I go to my ten-year class reunion and I am actually looking forward to it. In the past I would not have given it a thought but I think of those people and have feelings for some of them. Things are changing. The weekend after the reunion, I start my journey back to the coast and try to find someplace to live and start my job with the given training at Spacelabs Medical. My time in Seattle has been a blessing and now I have my opportunity to work with Spacelabs Medical and later to start traveling internationally. Then I will be able to see this world as a whole and in doing, find that piece of me that is missing. It may be a lonely road but in being alone I pray that my wisdom and strength in Christ and his Father will be able to grow.
I am looking forward to getting away from the T.V. for the consumption is great with ninety-eight percent of sex and violence. At this point I am even becoming tired of all the movies since they cater to the same lines.
Another new begins for me at the change of the millennium. I pray that Lord uses me as his servant to promote change in this needed time.