What is it all for? I can see nothing more than the pursuit of what the Lord has in store for me and what he wishes for me to do with my life. Be true, be honest, be charitable, and be loving to my brother and sisters. I do enjoy being away from everything that I had become a part of down on the coast. Yesterday, Dan and I went kayaking, for me it was the first time. Western Washington is gorgeous and a move up here may be needed. I have another month to be here and blessed be the Lord for teaching me patience although I still have much to learn. I am still thinking about going back to school and getting a master’s degree in Theology, I am still thinking about traveling to Eurasia in the near future. Dan and I also went to a festival in Freemont, which contains the center of the universe. At the festival I drank too much and paid for it today but it all worked out because it was raining and I could not go hike Mount Si. I could have, but it was less likely in the weather. This place with the weather and loneliness gives way and feeds my melancholy dark side. I do feel that I am becoming stronger through the hand of God in controlling my desires but I may be mistaken. It has been a while since I have had any tea although I still crave it but it is good because I need to stop all together. The strange thing is that I gave up sex before I gave up tea. Darwin knew nothing.
There is still a need to not feel like I have to drink when in uncomfortable situations that is being around people. The alcoholism does not let me stop in moderation so it needs to be stopped completely. The only stupid thing I did under the influence was to drive. Not that I was endangering my life but the wildlife in the wonderful state.
I leave Tuesday to go off to my first site visit for my new job, I will see what I am to be doing. What I am really looking forward to is the training that happens next month. Three weeks and then back to the Gulf Coast. On that drive I wish to stop by Yellowstone, Roswell and maybe camp in Santa Rosa again. Take a more leisurely trip down than I did up. As Dan always says, “Life is good”, but heaven would be better.
Forgive me for my sins?