I am not feeling at all like I was on the previous writing. Let’s see, I have been to Mexico, Isla Meujreas sailing on a boat for ten days. Before I left, I was with Harem3 and had a wonderful time. When I returned from Mexico my life was as good as it could get. I am larger than life. I have been out of the work mode but being with Harem3 made up for it.
Harem3 and I went white-water rafting with a group of close friends and not long after returning from the trip she dumped me. She said that she did not want to be in a relationship and since she had just gotten out of bad-ending relationship I can understand that. I am in no hurry to settle down or get married but enjoy some one’s company for once and we are good together. I do wish she could be happy even if it is not with me, though I would rather it be with me. Lately she has been distant and I don’t know why and she will not tell me.
Today is bad for me, I want to pick up the phone so bad but I won’t because the last time she was like this it did not have something to do with me. I will leave it alone because I do not wish to smother her, even though it is driving me crazy! I am happy with the relationship or should I say non-relationship, she is the one who needs to work things out. All in all she is the one I would have picked, so many things just fell into place, for example; for so many years I have said that if I find someone to laugh at the “Polar Bear” joke I was to marry her, she did not just laugh at it she told the damn thing. It is karma like that that lets me know. They say timing is everything but I have stopped looking at my watch.
Work is great, staying as busy as hell. I am getting ready to get my experience with the interface engine and then I will be able to write my ticket anywhere I wish to go. I have a trip planed for Denver in October 12 – 20. I have asked Harem3 to go with me and I hope she does. It will be good for her to get away from things for a while. In December I will be in LA for three weeks. My Grandfather told me the other day that he thinks I will never leave the hospital, for some reason I think he is wrong. I have been in this place all my life and even though I have done a good bit of traveling, I want to live somewhere new, in the mountains maybe. Delilah read my tarot cards a while back and they had an encompassed conclusion of “My life is up in the air and anything can happen.” I welcomed that at the time as I always have, living day to day. It is good I suppose because all in all I still don’t know what I want out of life. “Nothing in life became him like the leaving of it.” I say that I don’t know what I want out of life but as of now, I want to be comfortable, have a place for Bach to run freely, and at some point and time, someone to grow old with.