I write this to you Harem1, but for no one’s sake but mine. I will apologize for nothing that I have done except not being able to love you freely and you I. I do love you and will have you in my mind at the last second of my death. Just make sure that your husband treats you lovingly and if he does not then do not stay with him. You deserve the best and I wish that I could give it to you but it does not look that way. Before I leave on this trip with Peter, if anything happens to me, I ask that you take my dog and care for him. Treat him well and he will be there for you if for nothing but to remind you of me. I wish you well but if you ever do anything for me, I want you to make yourself happy. I love you and will watch out for you up there.
In the entries from above take me through my college years. My trip with Peter took us from our home state to the Pacific Ocean where it meets Los Angles. We hiked; rock climbed, camped and saw the wonders of nature and the beauty of the earth. On the way back from the west, we stopped in Mexico, and I got my first look at the poor and hungry. Those who lived day to day and were dirty and sold what they could, even themselves to scrape by. What a different world it was and right then and there, I knew that I did not want to be like that, I will never be like that. Living in filth and poverty, I will be above that and work hard to ensure that I have those things wished for by all men. I will never ask anyone for anything and will never want anything from anyone. I am in control of my life and I will make my own destiny.
Upon returning and finishing college, I acquired a job working at a hospital and rented a two-bed room house with Peter in a neighborhood surrounded with blue-collar workers and blacks. I will not remain here for long; I need a house and things of my own away from such people.