Today I went canoeing again and stopped at a swing on the river in what looked like a relativity shallow area. As always, I am crazy/stupid enough and am the first to find out. I jumped on the swing and ended up busting my ass-ets, it seems I get a bit crazier each passing week and continue to push myself a little further each time. I know for a fact that I am fucked up in the head but I will never admit it to anyone, even to Harem1. More than anyone, I feel that I deserve love. All these males who say they love someone then cheat on them or sleep around; they do not know what love is at all. True I slept with Harem8 and I loved her but it was false love because it was not near Harem1. I am not responsible for those actions because in those days I thought of her every day. I was wrong.
I must think about things like school seriously before long. I want to finish, get a job, buy a car, and get stabilized. I wonder if I kidnapped her if she would resist and refuse to go or even leave once I had taken her. Maybe one day I will find out.