FEAR 11-27-91
Past midnight and father time continues to tick, a never-ending process that will last forever. Where have the hopes and dreams of man gone? Why must we hide our subconscious feelings for it is what makes us who we really are and not the superficial puppet the world would have us to be? They say that no matter how bad off you have it, there is always another who is in a worse predicament. Where is this person with all of hells turmoil, let their life come to peace? Man will truly be his own undoing and unfortunately every other creature as well. My mind continually wonders, just as the body, just as man searching for, he knows not what. If man knew where he was going, would he really wish to go?
So, I start my journal and portray myself as a lonely traveler taking a journey. It starts on a cold night upon a desolate road leading to an uncertain place, a place only known to destiny…
I love her; I love her more than life itself. There is nothing that would not be given the chance to see if it would work out between us. Over the past four years she has not left my mind but during that time she has found someone during our separation and now she is bound to another with a certificate from the state. As the famous poem’s states, “I feel it when sorrow most, it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.” It is not fair because my heart was never given the chance.
Placing myself into delusion, the mind gives way to believe that I have let her go. Is the emptiness I feel loneliness or the need for her? For her sake I need to know and hope that it has not been a mistake but in more ways that is known what has been done has been done for her and future happiness.
Good night restraints of life, until morning comes and hope God takes my soul if I should not awake.