Ever unsure, since its creation, of my vision dealing with the red feather, no large gluttonous stomach (mide), strong lung, smiling, individual standing among orange feathered, gluttonous bellied, collapsed lung, irritated masses; always thinking of some way to apply it to my life, my path. Then the buddha, Hulga saw in my tea reading, thinking what it could apply to but also not sure. Unsure until two moons past. I had two visions of clarity, already mentioned. All things/visions point to a life with Sevgilim, from the buddha on her shelf to the red(k|r|m|z) oriental robe she gave me in conjunction with the red feathered mask hanging on her wall, to her being exactly as i made out the woman of my dreams to be, to the night we were first together.
I had finally surrendered to faith in the love, comfort, caring, and security of my Father, now the time has come for me to surrender unto his will for me in my life of this cosmos. The path that Hulga saw blocked was my path toward that of current, a lone individual running and rushing to become a christ.
In my Father’s time and not my own.