Sevgilim and I have recovered from our misunderstanding. What was the misunderstanding? nothing but my selfishness.
After returning from Israel and the first mention of borrowing money, it put a bad taste in my mouth and I spit it right back out.
Love gives, love does not need, it just is. It must be given without thought for self, it is giving completely and if love is abused then it is abused and love still gives. It must not be given as the world gives. My Father has taken me from false security in the secular to true security that comes from the faith in him; now here i am with the woman of my dreams to learn how not to give money because it is of no help but to give love that is the only power in this universe that is worth any benefit to the receiver and giver.
The selfishness of the soul runs very deep and it is only through the nourishment that comes through the spirit that such a wickedness can be overcome.
Soon i may be taking a course in Turkish which I know will also be a benefit to our relationship. To my relationship to Sevgilim and the rest of my family in Turkey. Then insallah, arabic for my Palestinian family. My dreams are now mostly of family; mother, sister, grandfather. With selfishness running through them all. I have much calmness to find before returning and that is why my father has brought me here.
So here i sit in Sevgilim’ s apt in Ankara Turkey, going over my Turkish book, meditating, learning my flute, and writing. Tomorrow if i do not go to rehearsal with her, i will start my yoga once again. In just a little while longer i will start my Turkce course, provided there is enough money. I will go to Istanbul soon and see about the cost of a plane ticket to make sure i can do these two things; Turkce and states.
Still no word from Mowad and doubt i ever will. I pray my Father’s hand be upon him and he continue to follow my Father by direction of the spirit. The sights i shall see on this path shall be interesting to say the least.