My conflict is growing once again and feeling of uncertain direction is surfacing. Yes, I am to return to the States but for what purpose? When shall I return? Not of continuing east to see what my travel brings me to? Am I just wanting comfort of familiar surroundings instead of not knowing where I shall sleep or what I shall eat the next day or this day even, fear that a visa will stop me from entering a country or there will be no train or boat to take me where I am going? Yet I came here to use my feet and strengthen my faith in my Father while five moons later I am still maintaining my security in the form of money. Why do I have such a fear in trusting in that, which is above all things known and unknown. I fear for my life and yet I am here thinking that it would be better to not be alive than to go through such conflict with myself. I have been through that already and it was given to me to serve my Father instead of leaving this life and yet what way am I to serve? Is it not enough to know that I am under protection? Do I need to increase my faith by making my Father prove his love for me? As the Christ said, do not tempt the Lord your God. There is no difference in me walking through unknown, uninhabited places without food nor water than throwing myself off a cliff for my Father to prove that He is with me. I tell you without a doubt He has already done that.